Forever Changed

As I sit here looking out in the garden covered with leaves I think back 11 months and how life has changed.  11 months ago we were visiting Germany with the kids, trying to finalize school and housing issues.  Not realizing how far we will come over the next year.  The anticipation of the unknown.....the anxiety, the excitement, the sadness of leaving family and friends.  My sister told me before I left....."You will be forever changed"....and that is true for all of us. 

We just came back from a trip to London.  Hannah was able to travel with the cross country team and we decided to take the clan to cheer them on.  As we landed in London and walked through the airport, I had one of those Oprah 'aha moments'.  "Mom, they are all talking in English," Caleb said to me.  I could read the signs...no Google Translate App needed!  At that moment I realized just how different it is to live in a country that speaks a different language.  Now I can get by (sometimes) and have 'get better at the language' high on my New Year's Resolution list.  It is truly the one thing I miss the most.  It may sound crazy, but anxiety levels increase when you're lost in translation!  Just being in an English-speaking country - even if just for two days was wonderful!

Forever changed....that is my motto for this entry.  It's hard to really realize on a day to day basis how much we all have changed.....because we have adjusted (for the most part) to our new normal.  I'm still a busy mom of three running this way and that way on a daily basis....I still clean the house...and have to get those darn highlights in my hair every so often....so that hasn't changed....but so much in my day to day life has!  It has been fun for our family to have visitors (we are truly blessed) and for them to experience a day in the life of 'me'.  They have been able to see just how frustrating some days can be...not being efficient - or they can be with me as I back into a parked car....and see a local lady walking by making sure that I'm compliant and write everything down.....  There doesn't seem to be a week that goes by without some local giving me a look of disgust....and I'm still puzzled why some Germans walk by our house and glance - no actually I will say stare at something....now granted it could be the basketball hoop or soccer goal in the yard....or maybe they just simply marvel at how the heck we get in and out of our steep driveway each day.....but it always puzzles me what they're so interested in.  I have several German friends and I enjoy talking with them about the differences...they are fascinating people...and I've learned that most German homes have a wall of books.....they love reading and learning.  I do find most German tend to be rule followers....the crosswalk can be clear for miles and not a car in site...but they will wait for the little red man to turn green, and then cross the street.  Most Germans don't acknowledge you as you walk past them....why - who knows - it's just their culture.  If I was paid a euro for every time I said that, I'd be a rich, rich woman.  They do greet you every time you walk into a waiting room in the doctor's office...it's the craziest thing.  The other day I walked into the office and was greeted by all 4 people in the waiting room....and then the funniest was when the receptionist called ' Frau Schmidt bitte'...of course I got up and along with two others in the waiting room....yes - there were three Schmidt's in the waiting room - I am definitely among my peeps! 

There are a lot of gray days in Germany and when the sun peeks through the Taunus Hills...watch out dispositions change.....You might actually get a glance as you meet someone in the street.  Sun is always good for the soul no matter where you are in the world.  I even saw a couple of people laughing out loud (really loud) at a little cafe the other day....and that rarely happens.  I find most people to be reserved and quiet...not loud and boisterous.....Noah always tells me he loves the peacefulness of Germany.

One of our biggest dilemmas that seems to occur quite often is the banking process......everything is online - when you book a vacation you transfer money from your account right into another persons....it's the craziest thing - we never see a bill.  The hardest part of the banking system is our EC card (debit card) - there are very few places in Germany that take credit cards - so we pay cash for everything - it's quite refreshing - but not so refreshing when your EC card doesn't work and you have a carriage full of groceries....and the attendant says, "sorry your card is empty"......oh no, no, no it's not empty...it just doesn't work all the time!  It's the craziest thing....you can only withdraw so much at a time...and when you exceed it - they freeze your card.....or better yet - when you try to cash an American check......I won't even go there!  Although there is something to be said for paying with cash - you just always have to remember to have it with you! (Haven't mastered that one yet)

One funny thing I've noticed about Germany is their obsession with hanging their coats on a coat rack or hook the minute they enter a restaurant.  Now maybe I shouldn't refer to it as an obsession that is a bit harsh...but they do like to hang their coats.  It's some sort of strange radar.....they find those hooks and they'll pile them one on top of the other...now it bothers me a bit as there does seem to be a lot of talk about lice......so I'm not loving the whole coat hook thing.  Tim and I were at a lovely restaurant a few weekends back.  It was perfect....no kids, no schedule...a bottle of wine and a great window seat in the corner of the restaurant.....but with a window seat comes coat hooks....and several of them.....we were actually howling at the end..as the coats were piled so high on top of each other that our little cozy table was becoming a bit claustrophobic.....It's just their culture and we'll embrace it! 

One thing you quickly learn living in Germany is how important spa days are to them.....we live in a part of Germany that has wonderful clean, fresh air....and many spas.  The spas are interesting...and we have found some to be totally swimsuit free - shall we say!  Now as an American.....wow that's not in our culture.  Tim and I recently were away and decided to let our American inhibitions go....and go for it!  Let's just say  - interesting and leave it at that.  It actually was wonderful....no one even notices and quite frankly it was kind of empowering!  It is funny at the pool....I've heard that they don't like leaving their swimsuits on after they swim is 'unhygienic' so they just take them off right there on the side of the pool and either put a dry one on.....or head to the locker room  - and you can't really get away from it there either - there's no separate boys and girls....men's and women's.  Oh well, when in Germany and heck there's probably a much lower incident of those darn infections you get from staying in your suit all day.

One thing I just can't get used to is not having air circulating in restaurants and stores......I now know why Europeans have somewhat of a reputation around smelling......everywhere you go it's stuffy! I can attest to the fact that German secret deodorant really doesn't work as well....it's missing something....so we always have that on the list when Tim travels to the U.S.  My good friend from the U.S. was here recently and we were dining in a restaurant in France.  It was quite a lovely evening....windows could be opened a crack and air would circulate a bit.  As we walked into the darling restaurant we could feel the air thicker and thicker as we got closer to our table.......'Voila' here is your table for the evening.....big score - right next to a window.  Men were in layers......sport coats, turtlenecks...women in cashmere - how could they stand it?  My friend and I looked at each other and figured opening the window a crack wouldn't be a big deal.....actually people might really love us for it - fresh air!  With that...we turned the latch and the lead paint cracked because clearly the window hadn't been opened in years....maybe ever.  The window swung open and we quickly tried to keep it open with something - just keeping it open a crack.  Well - the looks, the stares, the women bundling themselves up with scarves pretty much sent a message that we needed to keep it closed....so the stuffy - no air -circulating places get a big old.....so being forever-changed....no I still love my AC in the summer, my bedroom window cracked at night and a little air circulating from time to time.  I do have to admit that when I was back in U.S. over the summer I did actually freeze in one store the air was cranking so much....so maybe I'll get used to it over time.  

 We are gearing up for our first Thanksgiving in Germany....and it's not too easy finding a turkey and I just don't think schnitzel is going to cut it.  We are delighted to share our American tradition with some International friends....and they just can't wait for the canned pumpkin pie (had that sent to me from the U.S.)  Actually it's been quite interesting for the kids and all the different traditions they are being exposed to.....it's fantastic!  This experience has opened their eyes to a whole new world.....to people from places we couldn't even find on a map.  It's been amazing.

I continue to have my days where I really miss home....the 6 or 7 hour time difference is hard.  When I just want to pick up the phone and it's 2am in the states.  I miss my peppermint mochas at Starbucks..which I traditionally begin to order at Thanksgiving!  They have Starbucks here....but not peppermint mochas (I had a few in London which was a treat).  I do continue to laugh and cry......and explore new things.  Our family has truly become a unit....even with Tim's crazy travel and the kids busy schedules...there is something about this experience that has forever changed our family.  We rely on each other.....we pick each other up.....and our dinners out have become much longer.....and we are enjoying asking for the check when we want it....even if that's two hours later.....we are enjoying the time together. Even with all the cultural differences...we find the people to be quite accepting....their English is amazing, and we are making friendships that will last a lifetime.  Forever changed....yes....but more importantly truly blessed!